My Turning Point [Part 1]

Nobody in this world is born perfect... Agree?? But everybody in this world can become a better person. The question is HOW?
Well the easiest things that I had tried and WORKS is by reading books.

Books here do not mean comic books or chemistry book or those kind of books.
Books in here mean self development books.

First of all, why do I even touch books in a first place? Books are gross. The story starts when I literaly fallen in love with this girl that I told in previous post, "C". She was introduced to me by my Father. I felt in love with her so much that it driven me crazy. I didn't have any chance with her because of my personality. I was so desperate that I browsed the internet and accidentally meet somebody that pulls me out of this darkness. His name is Even Alex Chandra. Through his post, I saw a lot of similarity between me and his past's life. And the way he dealt with it is by reading books. So from here, my journey begin.

Well, I want to share to you guys how me, Mr. Introvert Guy able to become a better person by reading books. I agree with the lots of you that book sucks like hell... Its boring, troublesome, makes your eyes hurt, and whatever bad things you can think about. However, thanks to that I'm able to become a better person.

The story starts when my room mate bought a book for his english study. He bought a book "The 7 Habit of Highly Effective Teens" by Sean Covey. At first, the reason I read that book was because I want to get more friends. As I mentioned in "My Past", I'm not able to make friends with people in general because of my introvert personality. I start reading it bit by bit, lazy but I had no choice. As I was reading it, the words inside the book struck  like "an arrow to the heart"... It really hits the point that I have been doing so far. It's really a long thing if I have to explain it one by one, but long story short after I read that book, I felt that I become a better person. NOT MUCH, but I can feel the difference.


After that I started to read more books, like "How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnergie. Again, it really gave me a lot of information on how to deal with people. I became an even better person, NOT MUCH, but still I can felt the improvement in my personality inside. Start from this point I'm able to deal with more person, from the one that give me a headache until the one that I really like.

However, I realize something that is still missing... Yes, I'm able to become a better person, but why I cannot get somebody that I like to loves me? My face is average , the way I groomed is normal like people in general, but WHY can't I get somebody that I like to love me?! I contacted my master, Even Alex Chandra, asking for help.

He recommend me to read a book called "The Game" by Neil Strauss.. This is where I got a lot of information about dating... The book tells a lot of information that sounds impractical in real life BUT actually is practicable...

Still haunted by my doubt I just kept on reading dating books by dating books. I read "Magic Bullet" by Nick Savoy. "The Love System" by Savoy, etc... So I become a bookworm of dating book. After 3 months of reading the same book over and over again, I decided to try it myself...
I join a retreat camp. I tried all the line that was written from the book. Result? It was a success. But on the 2nd day, I'm out of line, so I'm back to my real personality. I became a sitting duck throughout the camp and very submissive. When a girl looked at me in the eye, all I could do was looking down (what a loser). In the end I didn't get any girl's number. 

In this desperation, again I contacted Even. He said "It all due to your personality". I was like "Fucked, what have I been doing this past 3 months?" 
"I read a lot of self development and dating books, but this is what I get?"
It is said that when man faced his greatest depression,  a great power will come within (This is non-sense btw, I created it myself)
Anyway, I thought "If I kept being like this, I won't get a girlfriend. I have to take action!" So I tried what's written in "The Game". 

I went to approach a girls in my campus ground. My first ever approach in my entire life.. I saw a cute girl walking in a group of 3, so I approached them while I was nervous like HELL...

Neil Strauss

"Excuse me, I need a girls opinion and it will only take a minute".
The girls was just stared at me laughing...
"My friend was fighting with his girlfriend because the girlfriend found a box inside his room and the box contained a picture of him and his Ex-GF... What do you guys thinks of that?"
"Ohhh... your friend's GF is just jealous"
"Now his GF forced him to burn the box or else she's going to leave him... Is that a normal girl behavior?"
"Nahhh, I think your friend's GF just jealous"
"Ohh okay, thanks anyway"
And that's how my first approach ended... I went back home and thought, how the fuck am I supposed to continue the conversation.